Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
