Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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