i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
