I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
