last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm just crazy horny about you
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
