He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
