is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize