wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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