remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
