normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
