Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
