Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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