I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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