I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
