No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
