I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
