So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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