Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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