Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
