I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
