Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
