Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
