I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
