I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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