Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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