recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
