we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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