Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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