Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
