three words: i give head
three words: not that well
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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