I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
