i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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