there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
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