You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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