hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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