you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize