watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
