You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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