Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
