I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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