Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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