i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
last night I used snow as a chaser
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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