I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
