yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
