your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
