Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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