yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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