just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
