9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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