so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
