Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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