My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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