Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
