I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
