i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
