What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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