I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
