So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize