We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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