You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
