youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
