I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
