Already got asked if we're dating
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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