I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
