I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
