I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
