After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
