She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You ate ashes out of my bong
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
