if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
