You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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