if i can run in heels then i can drive
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Drake has all the answers
I just gargled with NyQuil
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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